Gotta Lose This Weight

I’ve carried on about my frustrations with my weight gain following chemotherapy for leukemia (APL).  It’s no secret that I’ve got a history of eating disorders (just about all of them).  I’ve got to admit, I’m nervous about doing much restricting, as I don’t want to trigger that hell of anorexia again. I was told the last time around (1996) that I probably wouldn’t live through another relapse. As it is, some of my medical diagnoses weren’t identified until after that last relapse, and they’ve disabled me.

But I’m getting desperate.  I’ve got some diet journals to start using on January first… I’m not much into New Year’s Resolutions, but I do want to have this weight gone by my 50th birthday in November.  I hope I can lose the weight without losing my mind.  I have severe intolerance to heart rate or heat increases, so exercising isn’t really an option that will be of any major benefit.  I can stretch. That’s about it.   If the dysautonomia wasn’t an issue, the disc and joint disease is.  Sounds like excuses… it’s my life. I used to walk like a maniac, and loved it. I’d love it again if I could take my MP3 and hit the sidewalks.  No dice. I’d end up laid out on the side of the road.

So, I’ve got to cut back on calories considerably.  I have to be diligent. But I can’t go crazy with it.  I really just want to be more healthy- not ‘skinny’.  I don’t know how this is going to work.  But I’ve got to do something.

5 thoughts on “Gotta Lose This Weight

  1. I hear you and I’m with you Jill, I’m in exactly the same boat. Bloody leg keeps swelling when I exercise and causes loads of pain, so its really difficult to do any regular or much exercise, so after the ol’ crimbo feast Ill have to cut right back on calories again, sigh, double sigh, triple sigh…

    • Yeah, I got some ‘special’ diet journals to make it all official (yuck). I like healthy foods- I just don’t like cooking them for one, and shopping all of the time; I need to find stuff that freezes well.

  2. Good luck doll. It’s a hard line to walk, but you actually get more control from not tipping over the edge. If you do get weird about calorie counting, hopefully you can stay stuck on a number like 1600 this time instead of 600.

    • Yeah, I already know from months of on and off counting that even at 1400 I’m not losing weight. I’ve got an endocrinologist and internal med doc that I’m in contact with, so I hope that helps 🙂

  3. I’m on this train!! there will be some future blogs of how I’m trying to eat my Diprobase, hopefully this will make you laugh 🙂 and you lose your sanity like me :). Will do it, in the end xx

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