Nurses Aren’t Very Nice People

That was the search engine term on my blog site stats.

That’s the perception of nurses by more than a few people (including myself at times when I’ve been a patient).  I have some definite opinions about this, and most of it relates to the move towards a more ‘concierge’ industry with those blasted ‘customer satisfaction’ surveys that emphasize the trivial things (hot coffee, visitors happy, everybody cheerful and fit for a ‘Leave It To Beaver’ episode) and not whether or not the person got out of the hospital in better shape than he/she entered it. If people want customer service, they need to go to a spa. If they want professional healthcare, that sometimes isn’t all warm and fuzzy, they want nurses who know their jobs and do them in spite of the nastiness of some of the patients and inadequate training of the newer nurses from SOME schools (definitely not all of them, but I’ve heard many newbies talk about things they didn’t do in school… ‘old school nurses either did it or didn’t graduate).

I haven’t met many nurses who don’t genuinely want to give good care.  Now, there are those who go into it for the relative job security and decent base pay.  Nursing isn’t for those who have no compassion, and compassion isn’t teachable.  I apologize for those nurses. They don’t belong in the field.  But for most of the nurses I worked with over 20 years of being an RN, and for the additional 8 years that I’ve been in and out of hospitals as a patient (and seen a lot of good young nurses, and a lot of ‘do-nothing’ nursing students….not their fault- it’s how things are done in some schools), most really do want to do a good job.  That also may mean that having perfect coffee, enough chairs for visitors, and other ‘maid’ duties aren’t on their list of priorities.  If someone is going south in the next room, YOU may not be at the top of the list of people to please at that moment.  So sorry.

You may not realize the pressure put on nurses to make those satisfaction surveys glow, which demeans the professional aspect of BEING a nurse.  Raises and yearly evaluations include those stupid satisfaction surveys, so your coffee not being hot enough (which the nurse has nothing to do with- or may not know how you like your coffee as some inborn knowledge) becomes more important than whether or not you lived through your illness or injury.  Throw in some unprepared new nurses, a cranky doctor or ten, and your nurse may struggle to get through the day doing her JOB- not being your waitress.  Does she want you to be happy? Of course she does !  But someone down the hall who is trying to die twenty ways to Sunday comes first…and is stressful to care for.  Your nurse became a human long before she became a nurse, so cut her some slack.  Chances are she hasn’t peed once in the six times she’s hauled your butt to the bathroom.  She probably hasn’t eaten during an 8 hour shift while bringing you at least 2 meals, and maybe grabbed something in the breakroom during a 12-hour shift.  Yeah, you’re the patient, but the nurse can’t run on fumes with urine backing up into her brain.

What you don’t see are the nurses who have to wipe away tears when they leave your room because they know the diagnosis your doctor is going to tell you in the morning and it breaks her heart knowing that you’re going to leave a young widow with three kids under 10 years old, within the next year to year and a half.  You don’t see the nurse make six phone calls to find one person who will talk to her about getting some discharge planning help that social services, who is usually very good, can’t seem to get anywhere with because you don’t have the right insurance, and you need some specialized care (like alcohol rehab)…but the nurse knows some people in the business.  You don’t see the nurse who has spent the last three holidays at work without her kids or family because another  slacker called in. Again.  You don’t know that your nurse is being bullied by her boss because one time she said she couldn’t cover a second extra shift that week, and she’s just trying to keep it together long enough to find another job and keep a paycheck coming in.   Basically, your nurse is human, and has her own stuff to deal with- and you.  And five more along with you.  She knows that you are the center of your universe when you’re sick… but she has to watch out for all six of you.  And generally ignore herself. Yep- it’s the job.  But sometimes it gets old when there are just more people complaining.

SO before wondering if nurses are nice people, ask why they should be when they get crap from both ends of patients’ bodies, peed on, slapped, yelled at, belittled and demeaned, and complained to non-stop, and then search engine phrases sounding if all nurses are like Nurse Rachett from ‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’- when all she wants to do is sit down and talk to you about how the hospitalization is affecting you.  She WANTS to spend more time with you.  She wants your coffee perfect and all of your visitors there after visiting hours to be comfortable.  She wants you to get well and have a wonderful rest of your life- but unlike you, she has to deal with the reality of however many patients she has assigned to her, and the responsibility to keep you all in viable condition until  the next nurse shows up.   Even if you have an IV and multiple IV antibiotics going, and tubes in more than one orifice, fresh surgical wounds, and oxygen, YOU may be her easiest patient.

Make sure your needs are met, and hope for the ‘wants’- but understand that you aren’t the only one that your nurse is looking after.  She does care. She wants you happy. But she’s only human. ❤

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