It’s not about the other guy. It’s not about the person who has caused pain. It doesn’t mean that ‘presto’, everything is OK about what happened. It doesn’t mean you condone anything that happened to you. It doesn’t mean you will ever have that person in your life. It doesn’t mean you go on as if nothing happened. It doesn’t mean that you have to deny your feelings about what they did. It doesn’t happen overnight. It doesn’t mean you have to do it perfectly all at once.
Forgiveness means you don’t let that person continue to run your life through frequent thoughts about them. It means that you let go of wanting more revenge. It means you let God have the final say in how that person is judged. It is an act of obedience as described in Matthew 7 (Bible). It’s about the relationship you have with God, not the perpetrator. It means that you can turn over the feeling that the perpetrator stole your life.
Forgiveness is not a feeling- it is an action and choice. The feelings come later. Forgiveness takes the person who hurt you, and moves them out of the forefront of your life. Forgiveness allows you to move forward. It takes the painful events and people and puts them where they belong…in the past. 🙂
But first, have you forgiven yourself for anything you’ve done to impede your life?