My initial desire to apply for a medical marijuana card is for severe fibromyalgia, PTSD, seizures, and some anxiety related to health issues, as well as the complete change in my life after the death of my dad. My anxiety is relatively mild compared to actual anxiety disorders, but it was still noticeable. I’ve started with CBD products as I wait for the card. I had no idea that our bodies have an ‘endocannabinoid’ system, and there are receptors in our bodies that make cannabis usable in therapeutic ways.
Years ago, I saw documentaries about Charlotte’s Web CBD and how it transformed the life of a 6 year old little girl (named Charlotte Figi) who had 300 seizures per week and was wheelchair bound. Since Charlotte’s Web, her seizures are less than weekly, and she’s walking and developing much more like her twin sister who doesn’t have the same seizure disorder. I liked that there were no psychoactive properties in CBD. It’s the THC in cannabis that is the ‘stoner’ component. CBD is useful for pain, sleep, anxiety, and a lot more. The possibility of getting off of some of the regular pharmaceutical products that do an iffy job (especially with pain and sleep) was something I wanted to try. But at the time, I didn’t know that CBD oil is legal in all 50 states, and is considered a ‘food supplement’, and not a drug, so the FDA keeps their nose out of it. It’s legal to get online !
I got some Charlotte’s Web CBD Oil (in the olive oil flavor), as well as some of their capsules a few months ago, and it took me a while to get serious about consistent dosing. It takes some finagling of doses before the right one ‘fits’, but the best part is that there aren’t any horrible side effects if the dose is a bit too high. I just got really tired, and my blood pressure was a little low- but that didn’t last more than 1/2 a day- and I was very aware of it, so didn’t feel unsafe (unlike the effects of many prescription meds). The sublingual oil is a good way to get it going in the blood stream without having to go through ‘normal’ metabolism when swallowed, but the capsules are nice as a “steady” dose. When I do get my MMJ card, CBD can be used to cut down on any unpleasant effects of THC. (I’ve never smoked pot, so have no clue how I’ll react to THC, and plan to use ‘non-combustible’ routes of use). It will be another learning process to find out the best combination for me, to get pain relief without feeling spacey or ‘impaired’.
Since finding the CBD dose that seems right for me, I find I’m sleeping a LOT better- more soundly, and not waking up before dawn nearly as often. I’m ready to hit the sack, and actually fall asleep within 10-15 minutes (I take my night meds around 6-7 p.m., and am usually out cold by 11 p.m. – this from someone who used to sleep until noon after being up until 4-6 a.m. EVERY night). The intense PTSD symptoms re: my dad’s death have also eased enough to notice. While I still miss him a LOT, I’m not crying nearly as much, and thinking about those last horrible 19 hours, (when he was absolutely incoherent and at best only understood very short, direct comments and questions) doesn’t bring on the same sense of absolute despair. I made the promise to him that I wouldn’t leave his side, and I kept it- only to find that the symptoms of PTSD from that last day were worse than the symptoms from a six-hour rape when I was in my 20s (that I still deal with in the form of parole protests every 3 years). I don’t have the almost panicky feeling like I have to plan for every contingency for self-sufficiency, now that dad is gone.
I’m also taking fewer opiates for pain (I detest methadone- a legitimate pain med- because of the rapid physical dependence that occurs- which is NOT the same as addiction). I still have hydrocodone for bad days- which does not have bad interactions with the CBD, though I don’t take it more than a few times a week. I could ‘justify’ taking it more often, but I want to use the CBD as much as possible, and avoid the opiates unless it’s just too much for the CBD alone. When I get my card, the hope is to not take opiates at all.
I’ve been able to get off of carbamazepine (one of my seizure meds, also used as an adjunct pain medication), which has always been very hard for me. Granted, I started weaning before getting the Charlotte’s Web, but it made getting off of the last of the carbamazepine less ‘mood swingy’ and emotionally labile. Since getting off of the carbamazepine, my brain feels less foggy. I’m back to doing a memory/hidden object game on Facebook- and feel like my synapses are firing more quickly. Three months ago, I was flirting with the terrifying idea that I might be seeing the initial signs of progressive cognitive impairment… or dementia. Having fibromyalgia and a history of intense chemotherapy for leukemia has left me with some word finding issues- but I was noticing some crazy short term memory problems as well. I never know what causes what, but it was an unpleasant situation to KNOW that something was changing in a bad way. I still have some word finding issues (worse when actually speaking; writing is somehow easier), but the memory issues for other things seem better.
There is another route of CBD that I wasn’t sure I’d enjoy, but I really do. It’s ‘vaping’. For those who don’t know what that is, it’s like e-cigarettes, but with CBD oil. My favorite doesn’t have any glycerin or glycols, and is Limoncello flavored ! It’s a very smooth, tasty ‘hit’ of CBD oil that is a small dose compared to the capsules, but it’s very enjoyable. There is NO combustion, so no soot/ash/etc. It’s vaporized by a %100 convection heating element, to form the vapor. I recently got a mint flavored cartridge that is a bit more ‘herby’ but still nice. Again- no funky additives that aren’t necessary- just the pure CBD oil, natural flavorings, and ‘terpenes’ from the hemp plant. I highly recommend Entourage CBD vaping oils. There is no smell in the house with vaping. That is a huge perk.
CBD edibles are also good. Because any type of cannabis product is carried by fat, it’s important that the chocolates, gummies, mints, etc are made with fat, or the CBD has been processed correctly so it blends with the other ingredients. With chocolate, fat is built in (cocoa butter). The flavor can have a bit of a ‘skunk’ background, but I’ve found that the chocolates with mint are the best at masking any type of weed flavor. Some CBD edibles aren’t so tasty, but there are many brands that are quite nice. Iris makes great gummies and small chocolates in milk and dark varieties. Hemp seeds (I like the shelled ones) taste like tiny pine nuts. They are very small, but a couple of tablespoons has beneficial Omega oils. I usually eat them plain, but they can be added to cereals, yogurt, etc. Hemp oil is a good alternative to salad oils. I get my seeds and oil from Amazon.
I got one brand of CBD oil that is a decent oil, but the flavor (chocolate mint) wasn’t strong enough to combat the ‘weedy’ undertones in a sublingual oil (that need to be held in the mouth- under the tongue- for as long as possible to increase absorption directly into the bloodstream). I managed to salvage the bottle by making truffles out of it, with semi-sweet chocolate. I can have a consistent dose per piece, and though I could still taste a bit of ‘funk’, it was completely doable. I added more mint which helped a lot.
Initially, I planned to only use CBD, but in all of the reading I’ve been doing, I’ve found that some THC is desirable to increase relaxation, and make pain control more complete. There are dozens to hundreds of strains of cannabis that have varying degrees of THC, CBD, and the other related chemicals that each have a role in the management of medical symptoms. Each symptom can be helped with various combinations of CBD and THC, and finding the ratio for each is a process. The ‘bud tenders’ in the dispensaries are very good at knowing what active ingredients do the most for each condition. It is very possible to minimize the THC effects so that it’s possible to function. Of course, it’s never recommended that a person drive after ‘medicating’ (that’s how MMJ is referred to)
I’m hoping that my MMJ card gets here soon, so I can go to the dispensary and get started on what feels like the last hope for increasing my quality of life. Hope. That is what all of the interest in medical marijuana is about. I don’t want to feel wasted. I want to feel some degree of relief just living in my own body. I have enough qualifying diagnoses, and types of pain that the idea of living a long life without some relief is not something I look forward to- so I’m hoping to have a renewed sense of peace about having a life that is worth being here for. I am NOT in any way suicidal or not wanting to live… I just NEED some relief. I’ve had constant pain since 1995- and all of the things I’ve tried have been moderately effective at best, but not for any length of time.
When medical marijuana first became possible in my state several years ago, my dad asked me if I’d ever consider using it. He knew that pain was a constant reason why I was limited in what I could do. I told him that I didn’t want to smoke it (I’d smoked cigarettes on and off from 1982 until April 2007 (when I had the blood clots in my lungs). At that time, I had no idea what forms would be available, but of course, I’d heard of pot brownies. My dad was a fairly conservative person, but also considered context with the medical marijuana. I’m so glad we had that conversation. He was OK with my decision, and even though I’m a middle-aged woman, it mattered what he thought.
The more I read, the more I learn about the incredible benefits of cannabis. I have no interest in ‘recreational’ weed. I want some medical stability and relief. I want quality of life. I want something that actually contributes to well being without the side effects that make for more problems. I am hopeful that medical marijuana will do that. I’m already impressed with the benefits of CBD I’ve noticed so far.