The Mind on Fumes…

This is the last paragraph of my previous post: “Eating disorders are conniving and cruel. One ‘day’, things can seem OK, and the next there’s a drowning force of chaos and immobilization. Something moves from being fairly static with background noise to screaming and a desperate thrashing in dark, cold water to get to somethingContinue reading “The Mind on Fumes…”

Dejá Vu All Over Again … Is It Ever Gone ?

I never imagined being in the middle of this again. I’m “old” compared to when it all started eons ago. In mid-May, I’d been at a higher weight than my normal high weight because of trying to get meal delivery of healthy foods- but the calories were insane, even when I tossed stuff out. IContinue reading “Dejá Vu All Over Again … Is It Ever Gone ?”

Dysautonomia Awareness Month…. I’m Very ‘Aware’ All Year, Every Year

OK.  October is Dysautonomia Awareness Month… With ‘Breast Cancer Awareness Month’ at the same time, nobody will care about dysautonomia.  My guess is that men are more than likely behind the sanctity of boobs, so along with being a rare disorder that people really are NOT aware of, there is the whole ta ta thingContinue reading “Dysautonomia Awareness Month…. I’m Very ‘Aware’ All Year, Every Year”

Mammograms and Menopause…

Boy howdy, did I have a good time today.  Should probably be illegal, and yet it’s required by the conscientious medical provider I have, to the point of getting actual mail, not only e-mail reminders.  I think the last time I got real mail from my doc, it was an order referring me to anContinue reading “Mammograms and Menopause…”

Hot Flashes, Menopause, and Dysautonomia

For many years, I’ve wondered what it was going to be like to have the heat intolerance of dysautonomia, and the hot flashes of menopause. Well, now I know.  It’s like nothing else.  If you’ve ever been too close to a bonfire, and felt like  you were going to spontaneously combust, that’s close… but theContinue reading “Hot Flashes, Menopause, and Dysautonomia”

Sorting Through The Symptoms…

 I’m whining.  *** Warning *** I’m not chipper and smiley right now… Read at your own risk 😉 This has been a weird few weeks.  Actually, things started to get worse with the dysautonomia during chemo for leukemia, which was fairly expected, but it’s getting worse.  Chemo messes with autonomic dysfunction, especially with diabetics, or thoseContinue reading “Sorting Through The Symptoms…”

What NOT To Say To Someone Who Is Disabled or Dealing With a Serious Illness

I think most people are trying to be helpful or supportive when they make comments to someone about their health and/or treatments, but there are some things that  those who have not experienced the situation should just stay quiet about.  Some things are just not helpful, and some are ‘enough’ to ruin a relationship.  TheseContinue reading “What NOT To Say To Someone Who Is Disabled or Dealing With a Serious Illness”

If I Could…

…I would fix everything, and walk you back to your normal life.  I would take the pain and nausea and put it in a box,  and throw them  into a volcano, permanently removed.  I’d take the fear and confusion, and surround you with nothing but gentle hugs, a warm blanket, and a feeling of safety.Continue reading “If I Could…”

Dysautonomia and Disability- Social Security and Medicare

According to some, I’m nothing but a leech on society.  Here in the US, needing help is seen as being nothing more than a parasitic slug that simply doesn’t want to work. There is no distinction made between those who are lazy (a minority of the people on government assistance), and those who have workedContinue reading “Dysautonomia and Disability- Social Security and Medicare”

Eating Disorders and Suicide

This time of year stirs up memories of my first year at the University of Illinois (Champaign-Urbana campus).  I’d arrived there with anorexia well entrenched, after losing 45 pounds in about 6 weeks while working at a church summer camp as  a nature counselor.  I didn’t want to get to college ‘fat’.  And I didn’tContinue reading “Eating Disorders and Suicide”